If you are dating and your partner is telling you they are not married to you so they are free to live any kind of life including flirting, kissing and sleeping with anyone they come across, but promise to stop or be committed when they marry you, please run away fast from such a person. Don’t marry them.
The fact that I am not married to you does not mean you can be sleeping around with anyone and think you will stop or can stop when we get married. “No! For unless you are honest in small matters, you won’t be in large ones. If you cheat even a little, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities” – Luke 16:10 (TLB).
If you are not faithful in your relationship or during the period of dating, you won’t be faithful when you get married. You don’t change because you got married. The ring on your finger doesn’t metaphor you into a different creature because you married.
You are the same person, it is the same head on your neck when you were dating, it was the same body. The parts of your body which excited or drove you crazy when touched by your Ex’s or sleeping partners will still be the same when you get married.
In fact if your ex has the opportunity to touch such places, it will still drive you crazy. The memory in your head which recorded the ecstasy or your sexual encounters doesn’t not crash or get replaced or damaged when you get married. They are still intact, active and will play back to you from time to time in your marriage.
The danger therefore is when your expectations of attention, affections, sexual fantasies are not met by your spouse, you are forced to go back to the memory which acts as the hard drive to play back the old events; What you shared with your ex. Call it a visit to the memory lane.
Sometimes, because you were not able to cut contacts, links, paths, Relationships, conversations and chats with your ex whilst you were dating, you carry them into the marriage. You are tempted to talk to them.
Your communication with them will remind you of how you have missed the time you shared and things you did. And compare that to what you are getting now in the marriage. This is a number one source or cause of infidelity or cheating in marriages. It is very easy to cheat with an ex than a total stranger you just met.
So, instead of working on your marriage to make it better, you start telling yourself you made a mistake of marrying the wrong person and that if you were to marry those Exes, everything would have been better.
Soon, your personal anthem would be, I am not happy in this marriage, I am too young to die, life must go on. Divorce is the done deal. You end up destroying a relationship that has a blessing for you in exchange for that which has a curse.
This is why it is very important you don’t entertain anyone who is not willing to be faithful and be committed to their better self but are bent on destroying themselves with the excuse that they are not married to you so they are free to do anything including sleeping around, etc.
Such a person is a kid, not mature and not a candidate for marriage. Leave them to grow for the right person in the future. Hacking into their phones, warning them, trying to control them has no power to change them.
In conclusion, “For how can we walk together with your sins between us? – Amos 3:3 (TLB).
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